Letter to Ayaka
We love you and you are important to us.
There exist a great problem for all people who begin to go deep into the world of meditation. That problem is that they need to become sensitive to the Presence of the Divine inside themselves. As they succeed in this they begin to find that they also are becoming increasingly sensitive to other people and their hidden negativity. That negativity may be unexpressed, but it becomes extremely obvious to a person who meditates deeply. Not only obvious but difficult to endure, because the hidden becomes very transparent. A person who carries negativity emanates a very bad scent for someone who knows deep meditation.
It is for that reason that mystics have often chosen to live a very secluded life. Their sensitivity made it difficult for them to be in the world. They felt TOO MUCH.
However, there are several solutions for this.
Meditate on the Hara, since this will center you closer to the Earth.
You also need to activate your physical energies more so that you are rooted more in your own body. You may consider swimming, or soft jogging or dancing to music. This will anchor you in your body and it will become easier to withstand the negative emotions of others. You are in Japan, and repressing and not expressing emotions is a speciality for Japanese people.
I also recommend that you get OSHO KUNDALINI MEDITATION and explore this technique. It is powerful in many ways and especially in the way that it shakes off negative energies that you may have picked up during the day.
http://www.amazon.co.jp/Osho-Kundalini-Meditation-Deuter/dp/B0000009C8/ref=sr_1_1/250-3446582-3680260?ie=UTF8&s=music&qid=1193494595&sr=8-1
love,
a